Our Story of Stuff
Yesterday, my husband and I carried the last remaining furniture pieces out of my mother’s big storage unit. It was a momentous occasion, the end of a story of stuff that has been going on in my family for a very, very long time.
I grew up in Germany, where my father, originally from Washington State, and my mother, originally from Berlin, consolidated their possessions in a house in the suburbs of Munich. My father had spent a great deal of his life traveling. So, masks and paintings on the walls, bowls and statues in the shelves reminded him of his footloose and fancy-free bachelor days. He also was quite the bookworm and instead of walls, we had bookshelves in many rooms.
My mother had lived through most of World War II in Berlin, an experience that left the child survivor with a passionate need for security, security as an adult often sought in stuff – things with which she could outfit our little nest, items that would show the world in Scarlet O’Hara’s words: “I will never be hungry again!” It is quite possible that Sigrun could have been categorized as an oniomanic. However, I believe my mother never felt much regret for her purchases, but rather, like a child given a special gift, enjoyed and appreciated each one of her acquisitions.(If you have read the post “Coocoo for Coco” you know that she took advantage of her extensive wardrobe.) Nor did she buy only for herself. She loved shopping for her family just as much, if not more.
I sometimes wonder whether the pervasive need of the WWII generation to collect sweeteners – which, by the way transcends cultures: in Germany, my aunt collected sugar cubes – is linked to the memories of less stable times. In the US we might consider the link between the Great Depression and Sweet’N Low. And, if there is a connection, what will our generation be collecting when we feel our life slipping away from us – computer chips?
But back to our story of stuff: So, my parents had filled a house with two lifetimes of things. Then my father passed away and my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer Disease. And three daughters, who until then got to be the footloose and fancy-free generation, had to step up to the plate. My oldest sister spent an entire month sifting through the Berlin apartment where my parents had since moved. (How they managed to cram the contents of an entire house into a two bedroom apartment is beyond me.) Everything was packed up and transported to a storage facility in the US. That storage facility flooded and everything had to be moved to another unit. Then we moved to another city and everything had to be transported to yet another storage facility. And, over the course of the following year, brave daughter #1 sifted once more through all those possessions, all those memories, all that stuff.
Out of three units, she chiseled two; out of two finally one. All that we are left with now is my mother’s memory care room and a small unit of things we are keeping.
I cannot count the amount of times we swore never to do this to our children, to rid ourselves of our proverbial sweetener collections before it is too late, to borrow books from libraries, not create libraries in our own homes, to only keep what we need. Few lessons imprint themselves on the brain as much as the ones that are paid for with blood, sweat and tears. And that is something else difficult to count: the many tears, the laughter, and the bruised knees we shared in the storage units, marveling at two lives spread out in front of us in boxes and piles.
P.S.: Although only tangentially related to this post, “The Story of Stuff” (www.storyofstuff.com) is an excellent 20-minute animation that, if you haven’t already, you should take the time to view.
P.P.S: If the true price of stuff were calculated including storage, transportation, frustration, and spent energy, and that price were listed when you bought the items, how much less stuff would the average person accumulate?